Sometimes we tend to exaggerate some events, and our wishful thinking becomes rose-colored glasses through which we look at the situation. When we agree to meet with a person we like, very often it happens that we start adding “some colors” to this occasion, reflecting on the possible development of the events and, of course, telling ourselves that the person has romantic feelings towards us. So, if you are one of us, then leaving the house, you don’t think that it’s just a hanging out with a girl. Of course, everything depends on whether you are just ordinary “buddies” or something like “friends with benefits.” So, your meeting can be completely friendly or has a romantic mood if you have used one of the sites to meet girls.
When the meeting is more romantic than friendly, people are used to calling it a date. Usually, it is not just about talking over a cup of coffee. Nonetheless, you can easily confuse the difference hanging out vs. dating, and many people perceive these concepts as synonyms, but they are not. If you have found yourself in the situation when it is not clear what’s going on, and you ask yourself the question, “Is it a date or just friends’ meeting?” then it’s high time to sort things out.
She Asks You to Hang Out: What Does It Mean?
The fact that a girl offers to spend time together does not mean that you have a date. A random shopping trip can become the beginning of a romance, and regular dinners in restaurants can still mean nothing except that a girl feels a bit lonely and doesn’t want to eat alone. If you cannot figure out the girl’s mixed signals, and you don’t want to feel awkward on a date, then pay attention to the following facts that take place when you are just hanging out or in other words, you are spending time together without any romantic stuff.
1. She limits the duration of a meeting
Everything that looks like, "I have a work meeting in the next building in two hours, so I need to kill the time and hang out somewhere for the next several hours," should not be considered a date. Sometimes people really use every opportunity to see someone they like. But, if all that a girl offers are short meetings from time to time when it is comfortable for her, then it’s not about dating vs hanging out. She really tries to pass the time, and she does not try to get closer to you.
2. She talks to you about other guys
The best way to show a person that you do not perceive them as a romantic-sexual object is to discuss your other potential partners with them. The fact that she trusts you, of course, can flatter you, but do not rush to give special meaning to every little thing. A girl who is secretly (or openly) in love with a guy will never start talking about the presence of other men in her life. Only friends can discuss such things.
3. She openly avoids “romantic” places
Sometimes, when you cannot understand whether it is a date or hanging out, it’s enough to pay attention to places where the girl offers to meet. Girls attach great importance to such things as places, outfits and the chosen time of the meeting. So, if a girl categorically rejects cinema, cozy restaurants, places with an intimate atmosphere and insists on noisy clubs, a walk in the park and other public places, then she doesn’t want you to think she has asked you out on a date.
4. She asks whether she can bring someone with her
The offer to bring a friend with you is appropriate only if it is a double date, and you will not come alone either. In other cases, the third person automatically takes away all your chances of romance and turns an intimate meeting into a friendly one. Sometimes a girl may offer to bring someone to the meeting with you when you don’t know each other very well. However, if she systematically avoids the opportunity to be alone with you, then she is hardly interested in you as a boyfriend. A girl who offers to hang out meaning dating will never bring a “third wheel,” so get rid of these illusions.
What Is Considered a Date: 3 Main Signs
What is considered a date? It is one of the numerous ways of social interaction, the main goal of which is to evaluate each other and decide on whether you can create relationships. Usually, this term means a romantic meeting of two people that is a part of the courtship process. Such meetings become a foundation for creating long-lasting relationships. There are many scenarios for holding such meetings, which can vary greatly depending on nationality, religion, customs, social class, etc. Thus, in some parts of the world, appearing in public places in the company of a potential partner is publicly condemned. In general, each culture has its norms that determine the behavior of people on dates. If you are not sure what constitutes a date, three main signs will help make the point clear.
1. You make it clear that you have a date
If you want to be completely sure that you have a date, then you should tell about your intentions. Thus, both of you will realize from the very beginning that this meeting has nothing to do with friends' hanging out. So, a date can be considered a planned romantic meeting of two people who realize where they are going to go. While friends can decide to hang out at any time just because they have free time and don’t mind meeting for coffee, a date is a meeting planned beforehand by two people who feel sympathy and want to get to know each other better.
2. There is a romantic atmosphere
Usually, a date is a meeting in an intimate and romantic atmosphere. People who have romantic feelings towards each other try to meet in some cozy and charming places, the atmosphere of which contributes to the creation of positive vibes and chemistry between the potential partners. They try to please each other in some ways, avoid stupid jokes and talk only about “safe things.” People who are hanging out together don’t adhere to such a scenario because they perceive each other as friends and are not afraid to “spoil the moment.” So, if it’s a planned meeting in a place with a charming romantic atmosphere, then you can be sure that you are on a date.
3. You try to win a person over
People who are just hanging out together feel easy with each other, they don’t try to impress or look better because there is no need for that. On the contrary, people who are meeting with romantic intentions, try to show their best and most attractive sides to make each other interested. They try to win each other over with certain acts and words, starting with appearance. People who are going to go on a date make efforts to look attractive and smell good. So, if your meeting is planned, you have a romantic atmosphere, and you try to somehow win each other over and flirt, then it is a big combo. There is no need to ask, “Is this a date?”
How to Tell If It’s a Date, Not Hanging Out
An offer to drink coffee together and take a walk in the park can be perceived as a timid but quite unambiguous try to ask somebody out on a date. One of the “partners” can be completely sure about that, so they can make some efforts to look better than always and come to the meeting on time because it’s not polite to be late on a date. However, you have only a casual talk and in general, a person behaves as if you are just friends and nothing more. You are ready to pass “Is it a date or hanging out quiz” to find out what’s going on here. You feel awkward and a bit confused. However, you are not alone here since 67% of people found themselves in such a situation at least once.
1. Only the two of you meet
As has already been mentioned, one of the main differences between hanging out and normal date is the number of its participants. If you offer a girl to go somewhere, and she agrees with pleasure even though she has already had some plans for this day, then it’s a sign that you are not indifferent to her. She may perceive you as her potential partner if she is obviously flirting with you, and it’s easy for you to make her blush with a compliment. So, if you ask her out, and she doesn’t offer to ask somebody else to join your company, then there are high chances she wants to be just with you on the date.
2. She looks different than usual when you ask her out
You don’t know how to tell if it’s a date? It’s just necessary to look at the appearance of the girl when you ask her somewhere out. If you notice a big difference in her outfits when you go somewhere together and when you run into her in the street or a company of her friends, then it’s a huge sign that she perceives your meetings as dates. Well, she may not put on a little black dress or do full makeup, but she doesn’t put her usual hoodies and sweatpants as well. Such transformation means that she has made efforts to look more attractive for you, she has chosen an appropriate outfit for a date.
3. You try to get to know each other better
When people go out on a date, they are completely focused on each other. Usually, they choose some cozy place with a pleasant and a bit intimate atmosphere to be able to enjoy the conversation. They discuss both general and personal topics to get to know each other better, understand points of view and values. Thus, a girl can tell some personal things, but she will not discuss her intimate life or tell about her ex-partners. Such an attitude tells that a girl perceives you more as just a friend with whom she is hanging out.
4. She flirts and teases you
If a girl doesn’t perceive you as her friend, and she may even have a crush on you, then her behavior can subconsciously change. She can try to draw your attention with jokes, smiles and some gestures. When a girl is communicating with a man she likes, she may also start flirting and show that her attitude is far from just friendly. Besides, she may feel nervous a bit, and this state will also contribute to the changes in her conduct. She will try to study what you like and as if to “adjust to you” to be on the same page.
5. She may look a little flighty
One of the greatest things about friendship is an opportunity to be yourself. You don’t worry about how you look and what you say. You are completely relaxed and perceive all jokes adequately because you don’t take anything personally. However, everything changes when feelings get in the game. It may happen that the brain will begin to challenge you. The same happens with girls, so when a girl starts perceiving you differently, she may seem to be a little flighty and behave weirdly. For example, she may start flirting or testing your intentions. So, how to know if it’s a date? If you have noticed that the girl’s behavior has changed over time, then there are high chances she has feelings toward you.
6. You make eye contact and sometimes touch each other
People who don’t have any feelings towards each other try to not make long eye contact, talking about personal things. So, if everything is opposite when you meet, then maybe its time to sort things out. Especially if you constantly find ways to touch each other. You can do that as if by chance or you can intentionally take their hand in yours and go on a walk. People who are more than just friends have a strong desire to make physical contact. Such things are especially of great importance if none of you behaves this way with other people.
7. She answers positively to the main question
Nothing will help you understand whether it’s a date or not as effective as her answer to the question, “Will you be my girlfriend?” A girl who believes that you are just hanging out will be shocked and most likely, she will reject you, having found a long list of reasons for that. However, in another case, a girl will be happy to move your relationship to such a level. And if the girl doesn’t respond to you directly, then she might be not sure, or she just wants to play hard to get. It's not surprising if you have not the best reputation.
Tips to Transform Hanging Out into Dating
A date shouldn’t be necessarily accompanied by poetry or the performance of a saxophonist. Even an elementary walk can turn out to be a date if certain requirements are met. When both people know exactly about the goal of the meeting and understand that mutual sympathy has become its occasion. The atmosphere of the meeting is not too friendly or official. There are compliments in conversation and some attempts to impress. And there are only two of you. The crowd in the amusement park, of course, does not count. However, the presence of other friends turns your meeting into hanging out. So, what should you do to change the situation and start finally dating?
Have a very intimate date
If you don’t want your date to look like hanging out, then don’t choose crowded places that can be easily attended by friends. Pay attention to something special and more intimate. If you want to make a surprise, then you can hint on the right outfit for such an occasion and say in advance that there will be only two of you. On the Internet, you can find a huge number of ways how to arrange the most romantic date in the world. So, you should just study all the given options and choose the most suitable one.
Talk about your thoughts and feelings
A rare person can read one’s mind and understand every change in behavior and attitude. So, if you want to make it clear that it’s not hanging out but a date – say about your feelings directly. Thus, you will sort things out and get rid of unnecessary illusions. If your feelings turn out to be mutual, you will move your relationship to a completely new level and will get a chance to become happy. Don’t be afraid that something will go wrong.
Pay attention to her and try to be nearby
It doesn’t matter whether you are friends or just acquaintances, if you want to go further in your relationships, you should show the girl your serious intentions. Every girl wants to feel beloved, so try to pay attention to her, show your caring attitude and be nearby when she needs you. Thus, you will show her that you have feelings toward her and perceive her a bit differently than just a good friend.
Say Everything Directly
Many people make the same mistake, making other people doubt the purpose of the meeting. It is about the inability to talk about everything directly, although more often, shyness is a real root cause. When you say something like, “Let's go to the cinema,” a person cannot know for sure what exactly you mean. You can offer to go there as friends or as potential partners. And if you add to your offer, “I’m bored” or “If you refuse, I’ll take a friend, so no worries” for fear of rejection, then the chances of romance are completely killed. It’s better to ask directly, “Would you agree to go on a date with me?” or “Let's go to the cinema on Thursday? This is a date.” Then there will be no questions.