Today, public morality has softened indescribably: few people look askance at a couple where a woman is 15 years older than her partner. Society today, for the most part, believes (and does it right) that the main thing in a relationship should be mutual love and the consent of the two. And if so, then these relationships are considered full and normal and dating a woman 10 years younger should not be frowned upon. Indeed, the number of couples in which, for example, a woman is much older than a man, has noticeably increased today, but before that, it was not something that was forbidden, but rather somehow “not accepted.” There are more so-called “civil” relationships, which are often short-lived, and play the role of a school to build relationships. It can happen with women looking for men online just to get their money. One or two such couples often precede a “real” family, in which a person enters, already realizing which option of a partner (including by age) suits them the most.
The number of couples where the age difference is 20 or more years has increased and dating a much younger woman or man is quite a normal phenomenon. Sociologists largely associate this trend with such a prosaic reason as the presence of mature men with a lot of money, which is just the cherished dream of many young girls. But what are the real reasons behind younger women chasing older men and what tips are there for dating such ladies?
Which Age Difference in a Relationship Is Too Big?
Age alone is not a big problem. There are many couples happily living together with a difference of 10, 20 and even 30 years. After all, if people have paid attention to each other, felt a kinship, stayed together for years, then they are largely the same age inside, even though their “passport” age varies.
Of course, this can cause a number of problems: the attitude of others and different fears, but there are problems in any relationship. In this sense, a couple with a difference in age does not differ from a couple of people from different countries (different styles of upbringing, different hobbies). It sometimes even causes not knowing what to do on a date. All such people need to deal with their differences to harmoniously integrate them into their union.
Usually, couples in which there is a big age difference between partners are poorly perceived by society, they say the whole thing is in money, residence registration and other material benefits. After all, what other interests can people have, the difference between which is about 15-30 years? And the fact that they have a normal intimate life does not fit into the head at all. Many say that one who is younger, in any case, has someone else on the side. And, according to psychology, dating someone with an age difference more than 40 years is definitely not normal but rather a sign of a mental disorder called gerontophilia. It means being attracted to people drastically older without any particular reason, the things here doesn’t lie in money, and it isn’t about love either. It only means the person experienced traumas during upbringing and has problems with communication with their parents.
Pros and Cons of Relationships with a Younger Woman
From one point of view, such a union where partners deal with a big age gap has various benefits for both sides. The younger partner experiences protection and confidence in the future while the older can share their experience and enjoy obvious physical advantages. However, is it worth regarding an endless list of problems and misunderstandings that may arise? Mutual connection between people is an overall complicated thing, so, finding the thin line of compromise between people whose age is quite different is a whole another task. That is why let's take a closer look at dating younger woman's pros and cons.
Pros
As for couples with a very large age difference (20 years or more), the man who plays the role of a mentor and the woman who plays the role of a student most often converges. If these roles really suit both spouses, then such a union can be happy, because both can realize their subconscious desires. One is to obey, the other is to lead. If one of the parties does not feel comfortable (as a rule, this is a “student”), then there is a risk that such a couple will develop dissonance in almost everything: in the intimate sphere, in everyday situations, in ordinary communication.
Such spouses, as a rule, have different perceptions of life, different life experiences, horizons and intellect, and, finally, emotional mood, because it is no secret that sex hormones are mood hormones, and it is their decreasing level that makes a person sad and touchy pessimist. It is quite difficult to endure a pessimist to a young man with a stable emotional background. But this can teach people how to take the opinion of the partner into account and become more tolerant.
And no matter how fantastic this sounds, the following phenomenon is observed in couples with a very big difference - the younger partner "acquires" the age of the spouse, that is, they subconsciously seek to look older, take on the spouse's manners and their worldview. In addition, some sexual energy also plays a role here. The elderly spouse, as it were, “gets younger” after sexual contact with their younger “half.” No wonder emperors, kings, shahs and other powerful people of this world preferred young concubines, almost girls. This allowed them not to age any longer.
Cons
Those spouses for whom sex, regardless of age differences, plays the predominant role in a union, risk to have only 3-7 years of wonderful emotional and passionate relationships before facing the crisis. The fact is that the sexual desire for a particular partner, unfortunately, tends to fade away if something more important does not join this desire: friendship, respect, common interests. Although when it comes to age differences, this type of couples involves a relatively young husband and his spouse, who are either peers, or a couple where the woman is younger, and therefore sexually attractive to her husband. When a woman ceases to be such for her husband, he invariably starts a relationship “on the side” ... correctly, again with a young woman.
For people who are mature and intellectually developed, it is important to have a partner who is like-minded and interesting interlocutor. Therefore, a young partner is unlikely to suit such a man. And not because they are stupid, but because each age category has its own range of interests.
As for couples with a large age gap, according to doctors, the negative impact of public opinion on the psyche of a woman who is always more emotional than a man may not be the best. So, some studies conducted in the United States showed that if the age difference between spouses reaches 20 years or more, it shortens a woman’s life by 2-4 years precisely because of her strong feelings due to unflattering statements about their couple around.
Why Do Younger Girls Like Older Men?
Strange, but the capabilities of the body when you are 45–50 years old are the same as at 25. Yes, and at an older age, you can keep yourself in good shape: gym, cosmetology, and, in extreme cases, surgery. If we talk about character, then a person is already mature at this age, they do not have constant mood swings, they have already realized what they want in this life and are not worried about trifles that can distract from making love. In a couple where there is a big age difference between partners, the man is usually older. This is easily explained by the fact that over the years, men become only better, especially in the Scandinavian countries and North America. There, a man in his 65 can look no more than 40. They understand their desires well, so they are looking for young companions without hesitation.
But perhaps the most important thing is their experience. The man has already tried a lot and knows for sure what pleases him and what you should better not offer your soul mate. So, we all understand the reasons why older men choose dating a younger woman. But why do young girls want this?
Gerontophilia
It is a disease that is directly related to psychiatry. It manifests itself in excessive tenderness and warmth for people who are much older. Among them may be educators, schoolteachers, pop stars - all this is nothing more than a manifestation of gerontophilia. That is why this type of disease refers to fetishism, which is characterized by a manifestation of sexual attraction to the elderly. Couples where there is a very big difference in age, starting with 30-40 years old and above fall under the manifestations of gerontophilia, for example, he is 80, and she is 20. Moreover, the girl has no attraction to the personality of the beloved or his body, only to the age of the man. Classical gerontophilia is characterized by a lack of commercial interest in the partner. This is an absolutely sincere attraction. But even in such couples, interest and manipulation appear over time: why not take advantage of what a partner can give: status, opportunities, acquaintance, money?
Speaking of gerontophilia, one cannot but touch upon the reasons why this disease occurs. And the logical roots of addiction to people much older than themselves always exist. This may be a pathological or unstable relationship with the father and mother. Growing up, a person begins to look for something that she lacked, or, conversely, that which was present in abundance in other people. Also, the cause may be fragile adolescence, lack of attention from parents or teachers, the first painful experience in a relationship. Whatever the reasons are, the basis will always be low self-esteem and self-doubt, which will push a person to relationships with men of old age.
Commercialism
For women hunters, a wealthy aged man is a tidbit. Such relationships are based primarily on mercantile interests and opportunities. But even in them, a younger woman dating an older man is driven not only by money. Not every representative of the fair sex, even as a hunter, can constantly live with a man who is the same age as her father. We are not talking about temporary love relationships, where each partner gets what they want, but about family unions, where people live together for a year and share a bed.
The problems lie in childhood or adolescence, where, most likely, there were flawed relationships with a father or another man. A female hunter subconsciously seeks a partner older than herself. Her goal, to live well, is not the only one, but the issue also lies in the fulfillment of various duties, including caring for an elderly husband. At the physiological level, she has no aversion to the old body, which, in fact, is not a generally accepted norm.
Role games
It is another option for relationships with a big age difference in couples where a woman plays the role of a girl who needs to be constantly patronized and a man takes on the role of patron, boss, guide, and educator. She does her best to support the image of a silly young woman and depicts a creature that cannot even take a step without the protection of a man. Often older man younger woman dating of this kind can be found in the creative sphere, among bohemians or in the teaching environment: director and actress, professor and student. Such a couple is not a priori a peer-to-peer interaction, it is an attitude with servility, as to a great man. At the same time, their mercenary interest is always present: a woman does not feel anything like this, subservience is part of a role-playing game where status is important to both.
Woman on a pedestal
There is a category of women who, when dating an older man, also have their own psychological programs related to youth and global self-doubt. You can meet them on older man younger woman dating sites. If you date an elderly person, then you are guaranteed eternal youth against his background, you are not afraid to get old, you will always be 20 years younger, you are his ray of hope, a beacon in the night. And besides, no one else will be ashamed of him, and you won’t need to worry that he will leave you or will be carried away by someone younger. Such a woman is set up by an elderly spouse on a pedestal. Therefore, the pedestal and everything that is attached to it is a good bonus for someone who is looking for admiration, tranquility, gifts and other things. And older men dating a younger woman agree to this if they subconsciously need a woman to prove their status among others, to have something to boast above as if exhibit her as a piece of art to admire and that is why such men cherish their younger women as much as they can.
To attract public attention
The last option does not provide for sexual relations and cohabitation in the same territory, but there is still commercialism in it. In such unions, a man dates a woman who is younger than him by 20 years or more, purely for the purpose of public relations. As a rule, these are very high-profile and short-term couples that are created by men of non-traditional sexual orientation. Such relationships can be called a “functional family,” which quickly disappears when the peak of popularity and outrageous decreases. On any older man younger woman dating site you can even meet ads stating, "A man seeks a beauty for a public event or long-term relationship in the spot of the public eye."
Dating a Much Younger Woman: Tips And Advice
Today finding your perfect match on any of the younger women older man dating sites is easier than ever. But to find your soul mate falling into the age category you have specific preferences about is not the end of the deal. There are several things that partners with a big age difference should keep in mind.
Such a relationship is great at first
Those who build relationships with a partner younger are more satisfied at the beginning of the relationship than couples of the same age. In essence, this means that in conjunction with a large difference in age, an idyll will reign, at least at the beginning of a relationship. But how long happiness lasts depends on other factors. That is why the first advice for couples with an age gap is to be patient and tolerant towards each other as they find out every next problem about cohabiting with a person from another generation.
Men are more satisfied when a woman is younger
Why is a man looking for a woman much younger than himself? The study found that in such a couple, men experience great satisfaction with their young woman. Perhaps this is due to youth, attractiveness and greater vigor of the young darling, which leads to an overall boost to the personal development of a man, forces him to become better and makes him generally proud of his beautiful partner. So, a man should wonder how his woman feels because not always she will be satisfied at the same level.
Different interests
Common interests are an insidious thing. The fact that you are interested in several different things can become clear almost immediately, or maybe only after a few years of living together. A woman wants to go to a disco, and he wants to go to the cottage. She has been dreaming of calling friends for the second month, but he wants to calmly spend Saturday night. If such conflicts of interest occur regularly, frequent quarrels cannot be avoided. In fact: peers may have different interests too. If you want to build a strong family, you have to learn to give in. At least sometimes. This is the psychology of relationships, not only with a big difference in age.
Problems with parents
Experience shows: the percentage of parents who approve of the relationships of a daughter with their peer tends to zero. In fact, your father and mother are not enemies of yours, they sincerely wish you happiness. And it seems to them that you just can't be happy "with this old man." Tip for young women, "Try to convince them that this particular person is your destiny." And yes, you may be sure of that too. It may not be easy to convince, but sooner or later looking at how happy you are, they will understand because they love you very much. Parents may be skeptical of any of your chosen ones after all. The task of a man is to prove to them that he loves their daughter and with him, she will feel safe and confident.
Problems with children. Your children
Be prepared for the fact that your adult daughter will not be delighted that her new “mother” is a couple of years younger than her. However, it all depends on how often and how closely you communicate with your children and how hard it will be to introduce your young lover to them. Perhaps they have a separate life, and they only wish their dad a happy New Year. Or if you are lucky, and your son or daughter is progressive modern people, they will gladly come to your wedding. Problems in relationships with children from previous relationships can arise regardless of the age of your chosen one. The key point here is the presence of these very children. And it does not matter whether they are 5 years older or 25.
Thus, after going through all the pros and cons, let us remain convinced that, every union, every couple has the right to love, have relationships, live together, regardless of how old they are, and what the age difference between them is. However, as we have noticed, there are still some general trends, both in terms of physical health and psychology. They tell us that a couple in which the difference between spouses is no more than 15 years old has a chance to become more harmonious.
