The Concept Of An Open Relationship Among Other Types Of Relationships
An open relationship is an individual decision of two partners to build a non-monogamous relationship. Such form of relationship excludes jealousy, lie, and demands. The very core of the open relationship should be determined by each couple individually taking into account their individual preferences. Generally, it means establishing a certain level of freedom to flirt, as well as have easy intimate relationships with other people. In most cases, the open relationship is popular among young and active couples. The loyalty issue stays immune, because partners are connected to each other emotionally and there is no cheating happening on the mental level.
Those, who choose open relationships, tend to believe that the interaction of their partner with other partners will not lead to a breakup. Thus, they prefer giving a total freedom of communication with people the partner is interested in, rather than limiting his / her freedom and monitoring his / her actions. Note that the open relationship is NEITHER a legal cheating NOR a display of your indifference. It is more about trust and respect to a personal choice of your partner. Besides, taking into account the fact that forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest, the chance of cheating in the open relationship is much lower than in monogamous one.
This type of relationship is more convenient for those couples who do not plan kids yet. It is because kids repeat the behavior model they see. Thus, when one partner is cheating on the other one constantly, and the second partner forgives, believing that this way is easier than looking for another relationship, he or she STILL experiences negative emotions in the process. The kid may follow this behavior model and believe that it does not bring any harm to other people.
Those who prefer open relationships have a different way of thinking. In general, they choose to enjoy the present and love the adrenaline rush; they have no problems with self-esteem and respect decisions of other people.
What is an open relationship? How does it feel having an open relationship?
The definition and the rules of open relationships dictate the following: a couple keeps an intimate connection and lives together; each partner has a right to flirt and have an intimate connection with other people without any further quarrels, scandals, or breakups with the primary partner.
This type of the relationship is fine for those who are ready to forgive cheating and to develop the level of trust and openness in such a way. The big danger is ambiguity of open relationships rules. Keep in mind that your partner may perceive the rules differently. Thus, it is better to talk the rules through in advance. You should also talk over your actions in case if an easy affair develops into a serious one. Besides, the chances you fall in love with a person you have intimate contact with are high.
Another key thing here is to discuss the meetings arrangement, safe sex, and emotional comfort issues of the partner. Talk about how often you should arrange meetings; whether a walk will do or it has to be an intimate meeting; about the place these meetings take; whether it has to be a constant additional partner or a one-time affair.
Polyamory Vs Open Relationships: How To Spot The Difference
The rules of open relationships should be based on mutual respect and the priority of your constant partner. They should also mention the equal freedoms for both partners and emotional wellbeing. Well, the rules are actually logical if you consider open relationship definition.
The internal reasons for building open relationships are more complicated than it may sound. For example, the desire to build open relationships may hide the internal fear of being responsible. This often happens when a partner lacks confidence about his or her feelings to you. The reason for it may be various: the roots may go to a recent breakup (when a partner wants someone comfortable but have no desire to go any further). No one wants to be used as a cure after a breakup. This is a bad part about open relationship dating.
The most widespread motivation to start open relationships is the unwillingness to change present lifestyle and move to an adult one and start a family. Such unwillingness may come from a childhood psychological trauma, low self-esteem, and many other factors. The essence is the same – the partner does not want to change oneself. Another possible reason for open relationships is your excessive pushiness. Thus, if the desire to build an open relationship appears after you suggest moving in together, you should change the strategy and stop rushing things.
It is also possible to enter the open relationship having a secret intention to change the partner and take the relationship to a new level or because of your own internal issues (unwillingness to change anything, lack of trust, etc.). If you are not willing to enter open relationship, you do not have to make such a sacrifice in order to help your partner overcome his or her internal issues. Let your partner know what you expect from him or her instead.
There are two ways for open relationships to develop. The first type is called a short-life one. This is when partners try to leave the relationship the way it is. In most cases, it is a fictional way out because often, one of the partners overcomes some psychological barriers, while some do not. The second type is called long-life one. This type prescribes that the relationship is adult, serious, and full of responsibilities.
It happens that you can hardly distinguish between two close relationship strategies: polyamory vs open relationship. Well, what we see now is the tendency to desacralize sex. Nowadays, walking and holding hands appears to be more sacred and intimate than sex on the first date. Furthermore, families tend to stop being children-centric and concentrate more on equal rights and freedoms for both partners. Thus, Polyamory is a system of ethical views on love, based on partner’s multiple romantic relationships with other people approved by both partners.
Here is the difference:
- Open relationships are always open sexually, though it does not mean they should be 100% romantic. Open relationships are more about intimate (sex-related) things and rarely include walking and holding hands, if you know what I mean. In other words, it means having sex with multiple partners without falling in love.
- Polyamorous relationships are also about having multiple partners. However, they can be rather close sexually. Of course, these relationships may also include sexual relationships but not a meaningless sex. In other words, it means falling in love with multiple partner without having sex (at least meaningless one).
How To Make Your Open Relationship Work
Let's talk about how to behave in open relationships now. What does it mean to be in an open relationship? How to make an open relationship work?
In fact, they do not differ from ordinary relationships a lot. The only difference is that both partners are not tied to each other so much that they are afraid to leave. Perhaps someone will object: is this love? Meanwhile, there is no clear and scientific definition of the term “love”. People create their own definitions: opinions differ. Oddly enough, one can admire a person, enjoy his or her presence but realize that the stronger the connection, the more painful the break up, so it is better and even more pleasant to savor the pleasant moments of the relationship in small portions than to swallow everything at once. Therefore, you should not demand the eternal devotion from your beloved person, but to enjoy the moment being psychologically prepared for the worst option – the breakup.
Do open relationships work? The way most couples act in open relationships can be observed through the example of those who plan to get married but continue just seeing each other. They passionately kiss, caress each other, indulge in love joys, but they do not think about children and the family yet. When a girl communicates with another guy, her boyfriend is not jealous at all, because he understands that he is just a friend, and he is unlikely to achieve the same success with his girlfriend. She appreciates the guy precisely as a friend but not as a potential boyfriend. They can safely spend their time in companies of both girls and boys without not being afraid of cheating, or rather - not even think about it. Traditional couples try to avoid these companies, as they are afraid that someone will hit on their partner.
Despite the fact that a girl may suffer from impulses, temptations, she will eventually realize that her boyfriend is the best. The latter also must understand that resisting temptation is not so simple, that she can cheat, so one should be lenient towards the partner and learn to forgive such acts. Couples who are in open relationships realize that the animal component of man after millions of years of evolution of human civilization could not be leveled, and this must be tolerated. Therefore, they do not exaggerate the meaning of cheating but treat it as a secondary phenomenon, which can happen to everyone. According to the open relationship rules, they clearly separate love and sex, knowing that one can have sex with multiple partners but can love only one partner.
According to psychologists, many people unconsciously aspire after thrills, strong situations, new impressions, diversity, especially in relationships, even if all these things bring suffering. Girls are more sensitive to such things: they feel happy, crying themselves to sleep from another insult. Couples with a balanced, smooth relationship disintegrate relatively quickly. Those who build open relationships understand that they need new exciting experience.
Open relationships are a good option for those who are not going to start a family and children in the near future. But they require a special psychological attitude and moral preparation. It is not easy to suppress unjustified jealousy but some manage to do this eliminating the main sources of disagreement.