A rare person wants to stay single all the time. The moment comes when you start thinking about a new relationship that must necessarily be great and wonderful. We are looking for a perfect soulmate who possesses some character traits and features. Nonetheless, at the same time, we also know what things we are not going to tolerate. Sometimes, the presence or absence of certain qualities becomes a decisive factor in continuing our romantic relationships. Each of us has come up with an image of a person we want to see next to us, and the older we become, the clearer this image is. Of course, we understand that ideal people don’t exist, and even a soulmate may have some drawbacks, but the main thing here is that these drawbacks shouldn’t turn into relationship deal breakers. Otherwise, the happily ever after will be postponed, and you will have to get back into the dating game once again, hoping that the next try will be much more successful.
What Is the Meaning of "Deal Breaker?"
Before we dwell into the biggest relationship deal breakers, it is necessary to find out what this term really means. So, what are deal breakers in a relationship? It’s about some features, habits, physical or character traits of a person that become a stumbling block on the way to building or just starting a relationship with them. As soon as you realize that a person possesses or demonstrates these deal breakers, you decide to break up with them and move further. It is not something you can get used to or start tolerating. You know that you cannot or don’t want to accept that as well as torture yourself every time when you face this thing. It’s not the case when you can turn a blind eye to that because it goes against your inner feeling. Of course, deal breakers for women can differ from deal breakers for guys, and moreover, they can be different for each person. We all have our preferences, expectations, and the inner level of tolerance. Besides, dating deal breakers, as well as deal breakers in relationships, can change for a person during life. When you become mature and gain life experience, you start realizing what things you can and cannot accept under any circumstances. For example, when you are in your 20s, it can be okay to date a person who is convinced childfree because you are not ready to start a family. However, when you are in your 30s, and your desires have changed, you don’t want to be with a person who doesn’t want to have kids while you are dreaming about them.
By the way, there is a difference between relationship red flags and deal breakers, so don’t confuse them. While red flags are warning signs that you may notice at the beginning of relationships, then deal breakers are a level beyond that, and you can face them at any stage of relationships. Very often, people leave long-term relationships exactly because of them since the goals and desires of partners have stopped matching or one of them has finally revealed their true self. Thus, for example, it doesn’t matter how smart, rich or attractive a man is, but if he is an owner of deal breakers for a woman, she will believe that it’s a bad idea to have a relationship with him.
Can Deal Breakers Be Overcome in a Relationship?
You may realize that you will hardly meet your perfect match that will meet 100% of your demands, and in the best case, you will get something like 87%. However, if some points on your wish-list might be “It would be great if,” some others are a must. And when it comes to your list of deal breakers, it can be difficult to overcome them in relationships. However, first, you should study this issue to get their essence and the root causes. Thus, not all deal breakers are a result of unpleasant life experience or worldview. It happens pretty often that a deal breaker is an outgrowth of ignorance, lack of experience, or pressure of society in one way or another. So, it is necessary to sort deal breakers out to understand how much they are important. For example, a deal breaker can be a result of mistaken ideas of other people and the norms of behavior. A man can refuse to date a chubby woman not because he doesn’t like her appearance but because he doesn’t want others to judge him. And when you face some deal breakers in relationships, you cannot always overcome them since you cannot force others to make an exception for you. When you face a deal breaker, you have to make the choice whether you want to leave right away, or you will try to deal with the issue and work things out. In the case you decide to try, you should understand that you will have to accept a higher level of inconvenience in relationships. Ask yourself the question, “Can we negotiate all the arose issues in a calm manner and with good intentions?” You cannot postpone that issue for later since the question is still on the table. And everything will depend on the deal breaker itself and whether a partner is ready to change it for the sake of relationships with you.
First Date Deal Breakers for Women
If you are a single man who has finally decided to find your beloved woman, then it would be useful to find out the most common deal breakers for women that will leave you no chances right after the first date. Everyone has an image of a perfect first date in their head as well as the list of things that serve as a litmus test for the further development of relationships. And if you cannot be sure what situation can become a turn off for a particular woman, there are some moments that will definitely reduce your chances for success. One dating site made a survey in which participated more than 1.500 singles to find out about date deal breakers that people have. So, what should you better avoid on a date with a charming girl?
One of the biggest date deal breakers is when a man is phubbing on a date, and he just cannot “unglue” himself from the phone. If one of the partners ignores the other one in favor of their phone, such behavior can have an adverse impact on the development of the relationships since it suggests that the person is much more interested in their smartphone than in their partner. So, if a man has asked a girl out on a date, but he prefers to read the news feed once again instead of talking to a girl and being here and now, chances are high she will reject his offer to go on a second date.
2. Taking smoke breaks
It will not become a turn off only in one case – if your date smokes as well, so you can take smoke breaks together and not interrupt your conversation. However, if you are going to date a nonsmoker, then the fact that you get up all the time to go out for a smoke can become a big dating deal breaker. You leave your date alone and make her wait for you over and over again, such things irritate and evoke a desire to finish the date earlier.
3. Getting rough
It doesn’t matter whether a man is rude with a woman or others, for example, with a waiter, such behavior is a huge date deal breaker for most girls. Well, some guys try to hold themselves in hands during the date with girls, but really rude people don’t care about their inappropriate behavior since they are sure that they are always right. So, if you don’t want to meet with a girl once again, you can start behaving like a jerk.
4. Talking about ex-partners
Each of us has a past, and it is a completely normal thing when a grown-up person has ex-partners. However, it doesn’t mean that you should share this information with a girl you have a first date with. You are going to start a new romantic story, so what’s the need to bring your past on the date? It’s better to bite your tongue than to share a couple of “funny” stories connected somehow with your ex-girlfriend.
5. Being too different
What’s your biggest dating nightmare? For many girls, it is about to be on a date with a man with whom they have nothing in common. What can be worse than the realization that you are wasting your time? Besides, such situations are usually accompanied by silence, so both people feel uncomfortable and awkward. That’s why online dating is so popular nowadays – you already know that you have something to talk about with a person.
Top Deal Breakers in a Relationship
Life consists of numerous stages and times periods in which you meet different people, and it’s not always easy to understand at first glance whether this person meets your inner requirements. You need to communicate and get to know each other closer. And it may happen that one day you realize that your relationship is the road to nowhere. Love, like many other senses, has an expiration date. You should clearly realize and decide for yourself that you do not want the continuation and further development of relationships. There is only one way out – to leave. And while many people are convinced that the relationship should be cut off as soon as you thought about it for the first time, others start digging themselves out to understand how much the situation is serious and what to do. On the Internet, you can run into the top 20 relationship deal breakers that will fuel your desire to leave. And we will try to answer the question, “What are some relationship deal breakers?”
1. A partner is selfish
In fact, selfishness can manifest itself in different ways. However, the essence of it lies in the fact that a person will always put their needs and desires first no matter what. Their pleasure and happiness are always their main priority. And if they allow you to do what you want, they try to demonstrate what a big deal it is. However, when you love a person, their desires are on equal footing with your own ones. But if your needs are diminished, then there is no respect in your relationships, and consequently, there is no basis for the development of a healthy union. You deserve to be a priority, not an option.
2. A partner doesn’t want to have kids with you
When you decide to enter committed relationships, it’s normal to find out whether your views on the future family match. And giving birth to kids is one of the crucial moments. However, if your desires are different in this regard, it is a deal breaker. It may happen that at some stage, your partner may change their mind about that. And even if, at first, you may try to convince yourself that there is nothing special about that, you will realize later how many different challenges are hidden behind this unwillingness to have common kids. A healthy relationship is always about attempts to find a compromise.
3. A partner has financial issues
To create a strong union, you should be on the same page in different spheres of life, and it’s especially important when it comes to finances. You may not attach great importance to this moment at the initial stage of relationships, but over time, when you move in together, this point can become a real stumbling block. Usually, it involves some other aspects that can be considered deal breakers by themselves. For example, it can be about stinginess.
4. A partner is abusive
A healthy and happy relationship has nothing to do with physical or emotional abuse. And if a partner allows themselves to put pressure on you and tries to humiliate your dignity or undermine self-esteem in one way or another, it is a huge deal breaker in relationships. However, you can live with an abuser, turning a blind eye to criticism, attempts to control your behavior, silence treatment, stonewalling, or gaslighting. But unfortunately, all these things are incredibly toxic and ruin you from within. Besides, such people don’t change their behavior in the long run.
5. A partner cheats on you
Well, if you are in open relationships, then you perceive their intimate relationships with other people as an ordinary thing. However, if you are in a committed relationship, then infidelity is a great deal breaker that goes beyond just sexual intercourse with a lover. It’s about emotional connection and desire to satisfy one’s own needs first. It means that a partner doesn’t respect and appreciate you as their partner and beloved person.
Never Deceive Yourself
You can study the whole relationship deal breakers list and agree with many points or decide that they are not worthy of your attention. Everyone decides for themselves what things they are ready to tolerate and accept. However, you should always remember that you shouldn’t turn a blind eye to the things that contradict your principles and make you feel discomfort. There is no need to deceive yourself, hoping that everything will change for the better by itself. Miracles happen only in fairy tales.