Sometimes love hits you so hard, you start blushing like a child in front of a loved person and feel first date jitters. But what happens when we fall in love? It is a difficult chemical reaction in our brain that makes us feel in a certain way. Affection triggers our anxiety and nervousness, that is because there are too many things going on in our mind, its overwhelming. People feel a wide spectrum of emotions during a date, from butterflies in their bellies to nausea and sweating.
Why Can You Be Nervous About a Date?
If you are nervous before a date, that is never a good sign. You can prepare to be awkward, uncomfortable and shy all the way through. And the worst thing, your date will feel it too. You will radiate a wrong type of vibe that won't bring joy to any of you unless you'll find a way to cope with your emotions. Now, here are the main reasons why you feel nervous about the date.
You've been single for a long time and avoided dates
Not to be cynical, but dating is a sport in a way. If you haven't been playing the game for a long period, no wonder you don't know what to say or what to do. It's like riding a bicycle or swimming in the ocean. Once you started doing it well, you have no fear. But once some time has passed, you get confused and scared as to how to do it again. But your muscle memory remembers the way you were doing it. So dating is no different from any other physical or brain activity. If you just start doing it, your body will feel relaxed, and your confusion will diminish all by itself.
You lied about yourself online
How to not be nervous for a date? Always tell the truth beforehand. Yes, if you lied about your height, weight, status, or even photoshopped your photos all the way through, so that it could be called catfishing, things are not good. If you have identity issues or some type of crisis, there is also a time to mend yourself because dating won't change your attitude towards yourself, sadly. If you don't have enough money, don't lie. If you want your relationship to get going, don't lie. They gonna find about it anyway.
You are shy
First day nerves are a real thing, and unless you can call yourself Terminator, knowing how to not be nervous around a girl, you should chill before going to date. Yes, being shy is relatable for everyone now and then, and it's completely normal. Besides, girls find a shy man attractive, wholesome and cute.
Your date is too attractive
Now we've all been there (haven't we?) when you feel that your date is too attractive for you, too good for you, too nice and smart for you, nothing can go right. If you are nervous before date because she is too attractive, your affirmations to calm yourself down and boost your self- esteem quick.
How to Calm Nerves Before a Date: Easy Tips for Guys
If you have first date nerves, don't worry, we've got your back. There are plenty of ways to help those muscles rest and get you in a good mood.
Prepare a shortlist of interesting topics
If you want to know how to not be nervous before a date, check a short list of interesting questions to ask your date. Bring up something you haven't talked about in your correspondence. All in all, when you date women online, you are not that nervous. It's the factor of the presence that might be bugging you. Get over it and ask about her favorite food, who she wanted to be as a child, what are her struggles in everyday life, what does she think about traveling and much other stuff. This will let you break the ice quicker and make you calmer.
Choose a place you already know
Sure, new places can bring us to the state of panic attacks, especially if the place is too crowdy or too intimate for a first date. But choosing a place you are already familiar with will let down stress, boost your confidence and make you feel at home. That is why psychologists invented a term called comfort food. When you feel anxious about a date, try not to order anything new, just stick to a routine that makes you feel at home and safe. Choose a cozy restaurant you love, with a calm atmosphere and invite your date to a spend an evening without any fuss and worry.
Take care of your hygiene and style
Appearance can make us anxious, too. Especially, when being around a new and acute person. But you need to take care of your appearance before you go to date, so you don't worry about bad breath or unpolished shoes. Prepare yourself beforehand with a pampering day. Start with a contrast shower to get your mind in a good place, eat some food to not worry about awkward stomach sounds, get your hair cut, shave or get rid of any other unwanted hair and then have your clean clothes prepared. Be classy, yet not too prestigious. It all depends on the type of occasion you are going to be attending. All in all, lonely women seeking men can be judgmental, so don't give her a chance to cross you out of her wish list just because of your untidiness.
Talk to your friends
Friends can be our ultimate support. They come in handy whenever you need a manly talk, a pep talk, or just any piece of advice. Whatever your goal is, your friends will fill your head with wisdom and share their own experiences about dates with girls. Your friends may also give you some tips on the style, help you identify the type of girl you are dealing with and maybe even get your spirits up to the point that your nervousness will disappear. How to not be nervous on a first date? Get your friends involved to set you in the right mood.
Get rid of any expectations
Expectations can always ruin our life. And yes, it's good to have some type of plan for a day. But if you get your expectations too high, you risk getting an underwhelming reaction and overall start a meeting from a bad note. Your woman has some expectations about you as well, but don't let that false dreaming define your evening. Do everything in a way that's comfortable with both of you, don't overplan and try to get to the second base. Also, don't be mad at yourself if a date doesn't go as planned, just enjoy the evening.
Prepare a cheerful playlist
What can be a better remedy than music? Music always gets us through the toughest times. And it can surely eliminate the minimum amount of nervousness we got. If you want to feel cool, then choose a banger to listen to in your car. If you want to feel a lot calmer and more serene, choose an earthy and aesthetically pleasing song. If you feel like your emotions are outbursting, so you need a way to get them off your chest, choose a powerful melodic rock song. The only rule is not to scare off your date!
How to Not Be Nervous During a Date
Being nervous about a date is relatable for everyone, but don't let your emotions define who you are today. Here are some tips that will show you how to control the nerves.
Maintain eye contact
Maintaining eye contact is crucial, especially if you are talking to an unknown person. Weirdly enough, but when we maintain eye contact, we get less scared and confused, than when we avoid it. Look right in the eyes to set that beginner intimacy level to maximum.
Remember your date may be nervous too
If you think your anxiety is bad, imagine how this woman would feel to meet an unknown man she has been talking online, trying to look her best and trying to guess which outfit you like, being all composed and interesting, relaxed and friendly. It is a huge stress for both of you, so don't think anyone has it easy.
Treat them like a friend
When you don't know what type of attitude you should stick to, always choose a friendly tone over-romantic. Being romantic and passionate can be uncomfortable during a first date, and it can seem a little pushy as well. But if you take the conversation lightly, stay in your line and not ask too many personal questions, what could go wrong?
When you are nervous, breathing is crucial. Take a deep breath of you to feel a little nauseous or overwhelmed. Don't get yourself in the state of hyperventilating. But always remember that however, the date will go, your life doesn't end, and you will be fine despite anything.
Afford yourself a little alcohol (just a bit)
Drinking is not very good when it comes to first dates. If you are nervous, you try to tone it down with alcohol, but too much is never good. Order a glass of wine to celebrate your first meeting, be considerate. You might have to drive her home. If you are drunk, take a taxi.
Smile and be positive
Smile, even if you don't feel like it. When we smile, we program ourselves to be more positive and think of better things. A couple of laughs and jokes won't be excessive. Just be moderate in how much you joke around your girl. Just be yourself and if you want to smile, then smile.
Avoid controversial topics
Weird topics can arise during meetings. However, try to control yourself in the way you talk. It's a bad tone to talk about politics, religion, past, and intimacy during the first date. Save that up for later, you will have time to get to know her later. Overall, a first date can be a traumatic experience, but it's not so bad. If you choose to be a good, friendly man, a polite gentleman, and a nice friend, get over nervousness and stay positive, chances are you will have the happiest date possible.