It is not a secret that it is hard to find the more volatile thing than the love relationship between a modern man and a woman. Contemporary relationships are created and destroyed with lightning speed. Involuntarily, it seems that a true love exists no longer.
Why is it so difficult to maintain a long-term relationship? Why do couples break up, even experiencing a strong sense of love and affection? Why do people stop cherishing each other? What is the true meaning of love?
What true love really is: a modern approach
In modern culture, the concept of love is too blurry. Everything that is necessary for a future life, including the upbringing, norms of behavior, etc., a maturing person gets from the outside world. This is their family, friends, the inner circle. However, nowadays, unfortunately, the mass media has the biggest influence on the formation of a person's worldview.
People don’t reflect on what true love is, and they create the false images of love. Fleeting happiness, euphoria and, as a result, rapid disappointment. This does not make a person happy and does not help them create a family. Many young people have the impression that love is an impulse and a big passion that arises in the first minutes. However, willingness to give your life for your partner is a lie.
Hollywood version of love
What is true love? It’s like the holy grail, everybody wants to find, but almost nobody wants to make efforts. Very often, a feeling, which is initially taken as a true love, is, in fact, just infatuation or passion. This is the initial and idealistic stage of romantic relationships when you don’t see the partner's shortcomings and bad habits. This period is not eternal and is followed by disappointment.
You open your eyes and see your partner tired, you notice their shortcomings, not the ideal physical form, a bad character, and the so-called "love" ends. This strategy constitutes the problem of the modern society.
Feelings that are shown in Hollywood movies are more often passion than love. You see only the initial stage of the relationship, the rest is left behind the scenes. And the rest is the most difficult stage. Love can be compared to the car's ignition system. If you know how to start the car, but you do not know how to be a good driver, the end will be sad. The same thing is with love. Infatuation is only gas, and in order to get to the destination and to find true love, this process needs constant monitoring.
Can sex replace love?
Love is in a person, it does not require self-serving impact of the others. People get satisfaction and pleasure from the fact that they are in love. It is important to perceive a person as they are, with their imperfections, otherwise, it is a dead end. In the world, there will always be more beautiful, smarter and better people. In love, it's important to find yours. To learn how to love another person, it is necessary to establish a spiritual intimacy. However, modern culture is aimed at sex. It is advocated everywhere, starting from the most popular films to glossy magazines, which, basically, are read and watched by young people who are just starting to build their lives.
If sex becomes the only priority in relationships and in life, strong relationships and love cannot be built. Modern psychologists say that the generations of young people with such formed stereotype can become a generation of losers. Initially, you need to develop more complex qualities. These should be the spiritual, moral and ethical values that make human beings human. There will be no love without them. Advocating only sexual relations, it is not mentioned that there should be an emotional pleasure and a beloved one who is trustworthy. Besides, this should be preceded by a long spiritual closeness because, otherwise, you will not achieve proper emotional satisfaction.
So, what is the definition of true love? To love means to be unconditionally devoted to a person, knowing about their imperfections. A true love is not only a euphoric, spontaneous feeling. This is a conscious choice. You really agree to love each other in joy and sorrow, in poverty and wealth, in health and illness. These are not empty words, this is what true love looks like.
20 signs of true love in a relationship.
People ask themselves constantly two main questions, talking about love, “What is true love in a relationship? What is the sign of true love?” They try to find the answer and the proof that they are really lucky, and that they experience a true love in their lives.
1. You don’t doubt
If you are struck by Cupid's arrow, then you fall in love definitively: neither families nor challenges, nor distances, nor natural hazards can prevent this feeling. Your friends can repeat a thousand times that this person is not for you, and your parents can be against your relationship, it will not raise any doubts about the sincerity and validity of your feelings. You imagine clearly your common future in a month, a year, decades, and know that you will be good spouses and parents. This is one of the signs it is true love.
2. You don’t have an answer to the question, "Why do you love your partner?"
It is not because you have lost your mind and shame due to love but because there is no answer for you. You do not love your partner for something concrete but for the fact that they just are. You feel that this person is your soul mate. Of course, you can flirt a little and say that you have fallen in love with the beautiful eyes or a thick purse, but such reasons have nothing to do with signs of true love.
3. You do not pay attention to others
Autumn has come, leaves are falling. You do not need anyone, except "your better half." This is a comic but extremely brief and understandable description of one of the real love signs. You show your feelings to the only one person, and you are completely indifferent to others.
4. You feel safe
When there is a sense of reliability with a bellowed partner under all circumstances, this is one of the main signs of true love from a woman. A man enters her comfort zone, their common warmth, love, and peace of mind allow her to be completely relaxed and happy. A man feels the same.
5. Your relationship develops
Sometimes, it takes time for love to take the form. If the first infatuation has subsided, and the desire to give happiness and care only grows, this is another one of the sure true love signs.
6. You become better
When people are in love, they have an incentive to grow and develop, to become more interesting, attractive. Nevertheless, true love will not demand excessive sacrifices and total changes in your "ego." There should be no hard work when you are in love. It can be a constant endeavor at self-improvement, but you should not be obligated to sacrifice.
7. You learn to forgive
People who love are always ready to forgive each other. This is not the easiest thing, sometimes, in the literal sense of the word, it takes years. The sense of insult is also very strong and is often competing with love. True love is able to defeat all grievances and heal any spiritual wounds.
8. You are one team
You play by common rules and do not score your own goal. You do not complain to others about the shortcomings of a beloved one, and you can be sure that your partner does the same. You are links of one chain, two independent, peer-to-peer and tantamount pieces.
9. You can be silent with each other
Having fun chatting all night long is an obvious sign of a big interest in each other. Usually, love stories start with such nightly talks. However, silence is much more indicative. How to recognize true love? When silence between you does not form an awkward pause, you have reached the next advanced level.
10. You accept the appearance of each other
Of course, people like to judge a book by its cover. However, your partner is not a model on the cover of a fashion magazine. You don’t care about their appearance too much. You accept them as they are.
11. You don’t want to change each other
You clearly see the cons of a loved one, but you do not want to remodel a partner to an imaginary ideal. You accept your partner with all the shortcomings and hang-ups. Even if your beloved one has oddities, they seem to you only "lovely features." These are the first signs of true love.
12. You are ready to meet the challenges
What is the point of making a tragedy of minor problems and disagreements? They are just a natural part of any relationship. Moreover, they are solvable. Loving people perceive this calmly because you can always come to a compromise.
13. You can wait
Waiting is a sign of true love because true love does not arise in one day, and love at first sight is nothing more than falling in love. Sincere and strong feeling arises after a while when you managed to see each other not only in the best outfit but also in a home robe. You wait for each other from long-term business trips and don’t look for a temporary replacement.
14. Your feelings are stable
Unlike the feeling of neurotic affection, when your psyche is always in an excited state, and passion and desire are constantly replaced by indifference, your feelings are stable. You feel tenderness and deep affection for a partner (of course, in a good sense of the word.)
15. You are not an “owner”
A beloved partner is not your property and not even a pet, with whom you can do whatever you want. You are free people, and you are connected by a deep feeling, and not by selfishness mixed with proprietorship.
16. You know what altruism is
True love means the ability to selflessly sacrifice your own interests in favor of the interests of a loved one. Love has nothing in common with selfishness.
17. You can live without each other
Breakup with a loved one is certainly hard. However, if you break up, it's not an excuse to get angry and swallow pills. You will always remember the happy moments spent together with a smile on your face.
18. You are on the same page
You have similarity in the way of life, ways of thinking, worldviews. This is very important and necessary for the healthy relationship. Even a big age difference will not be such an obstacle, as, for example, a mismatch of the worldviews.
19. You trust each other
The desire to tell your innermost secrets means that you trust a partner, and the trust is the most important element of true, blooming and long-term love.
20. You are best friends
If your feelings are sincere and strong, you will become wonderful friends, you will be able to do much more together than alone.
What about mutuality?
A true love can be only mutual when you want to be with a person as much as this person wants to be with you. A true love always involves compatibility and purposeful efforts to preserve the relationship, on both sides, in addition to physical attractiveness. If you neglect any of these components, you will not be able to have a happy long-term relationship.