Sometimes you may feel that your relationship went too far and the only way out is to break up. And you end up separating. While you may feel absolutely free for the first few days, a few weeks or even months, but then you find yourself missing your ex. You can't understand the reasons behind that. Maybe it's just a nostalgic feeling. Maybe you still in love with your ex. Maybe you can't move, as you feel guilty. Regardless of the reasons, you call your ex from time to time. You want to talk like in good old times. You are discussing things that happened to both of you after you had broken up. The strangest thing is that you are not making any attempts to reconcile. Sometimes, your ex is not that much into keeping friendly relationship with you, but you continue phoning her.
Sometimes it feels like you are stalking her. You can't find any logical explanation to it, as, once again, you don't feel like starting it all over again. Now, take a look at the following list of the signs that you are obsessed with your ex.
1. You Are Calling Your Ex At Least Once A Week
You've parted like a month or two ago, but now you phone your ex at least once a week. Not that you have much to talk about. You are asking your ex-girlfriend how she is. You don't have much to say, but you start telling her about everything you've been through since the breakup. You don't offer to reconcile, sometimes you regret that you are calling your ex, but still continue phoning her at least once a week.
2. You Stalk Her On Social Media
Be it Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, you check her profile at least once a week. You are checking her new posts, and if you don't see her online for quite a long time, you use it as an excuse to call her and ask her how she's been doing.
3. You Can't Get Rid Of The Shrine of Your Relationship
You can't delete the photos that show you together and you can't let them be. You just continue looking at them from time to time. You are looking through the photos and videos that show you together and feel quite melancholic when observing them. Sometimes, you call your ex after looking at the 'shrine' of your broken romance.
4. You Dream Of Running Into Your Ex With Your New Girlfriend
Finally, you've met someone new, and your relationship is developing rapidly. Everything seems absolutely fine, but deep down you dream about running into your ex with your new girlfriend, just to see her reaction.
5. You Can't Feel Happy Without Her
You slowly start getting the feeling that you can't be happy without your ex. You are close to breaking up with your new girlfriend, as you see that she can't replace your ex. All in all, you feel incomplete without your ex-girlfriend.
Well, if you have those signs, then it seems like you are obsessed with your ex. Now, let's figure out are you still in love with her or there are other reasons for you still being haunted by your ex-girlfriend.
Why Do Guys Stay In Touch With Ex-Girlfriends?
Let's have a look at general reasons of why guys stay in touch with their ex-girlfriends. Maybe you would find reasoning here.
1. He Can't Get Her Out Of His Mind
Now, think, you've been together for quite a while. Maybe you've been together for months, and maybe you've been together for years. Maybe your relationship with you ex was your first more or less serious relationship in your life. If so, then there is no surprise that you are wondering "Why do I dream about my ex years later?". It's just like the first love, you won't get her out of your mind for quite a long time.
2. She Reminds Him About Herself
Now, ask yourself, is it just you or she continues reminding you about herself? Are you the one who phones her once a week or was she the first one to call you after the breakup? It doesn't happen that often, but maybe she is secretly stalking you?
3. He Wants A Third Person In Relationship
Sometimes, your ex may be the best sex of your life. If so, it makes no surprise that you are not satisfied with your new girlfriend. "Why do I keep dreaming about my ex?" – are you sure that those dreams are not wet? While you may claim that you want just to remain friends with her, secretly you want to get in bed with her again, as you can't forget the things you were doing together under the sheets.
4. He Wants Her Advice
Nobody knows you better than your ex. Sometimes you want to ask her what she thinks about your new girlfriend. She knows what's good for you and what's not. She knows you the best. And while you can't say that you are friends, you won't feel that sure about any of your decision without her advice. "Why do I still think about my ex? Why do I still wonder what she would think about my next step?", because you know that you've made the best decisions in your life with her advice. Everything is plain and simple.
5. They Are Friends Now
Sometimes relationships just fall apart, simply because you don't love each other anymore. Love may be dead, but mutual respect and liking are well and alive. So, you remain good friends after your romantic relationship is over. But this case, however, has nothing to do with being obsessed with your ex.
Why Do I Miss My Ex So Much?
Now, after learning about the general reasons why guys stay in touch with their girlfriends, let's talk about your case. Why do you miss your ex so much? Is it her charms? Or maybe it has more to do with your inner guilt? Let's check it out.
1. She Broke Your Heart
She betrayed you, she was unfaithful to you? Well, she broke your heart. "Why can't I move on from my ex?", probably because she broke your heart and you are still in pain. You stalk her online in order to find the reasons to make sure that she isn’t worth your still thinking about her. No surprise, you are still obsessed with her.
2. You Made A Horrible Mistake By Dumping Her
While everything seemed plain and simple on the verge of the breakup, a few months later you come to realize that dumping her was a terrible mistake and you won't find anyone better than she was. "Why am I obsessed with my ex?" – Because dumping her was the most stupid thing that you've ever done in your life. "Why is my ex so mean to me?"... The answer is obvious, she knew from the very start that you shouldn't have dumped her.
3. You Believe In Soulmates
That's pretty much a continuation of the previous point. For certain reasons, you thought that she wasn't the one, but now you know for sure that she was your true soulmate. And you are obsessed with her and you try to take everything back. But all your attempts at bringing her back end up wondering "Why does my ex hate me?" As with the previous point, she probably knew from the very start that you were soulmates and she won't forgive you dumping her.
4. You Liked Who You Were With Her
A reason behind your obsession could be your selfishness. You didn't care about anything when you were together. She was bringing out the best in you. And that's why you are so obsessed with her. You think that everything would be great if she returned to your life. But it is ridiculous to believe that your life depended on her that much. And your obsession has much more to do with your selfishness rather than with your ex-girlfriend.
5. You've Idealized What You Had
Well, you have your brain to blame. Our brain throws away everything bad about our past, thus only good memories remain. As a result, you start thinking about your past relationship as of some kind of miraculous period of your life, and, no matter how good your next relationship is going to be, it is bound to pale in comparison with your past romance. That's why you are so obsessed with your ex and your past relationship.
6. You Didn't See The Breakup Coming
We rarely think about ourselves badly. Most likely you think of yourself as of a perfect partner. But your ex-girlfriend abandoned you without omens. And she didn't give you the reasons for that. And you remain paralyzed for months or even years, trying to understand what went wrong. Have you done anything wrong to her? Were you treating her the wrong way? And thus you are obsessed with her...or at least with finding the reasons to why she decided to break up with you.
7. You're Unhappy With Your Current Partner
There is nothing strange about starting to idealize your ex-girlfriend when your new one is boring and silly. Most likely you started a relationship with her not to feel lonely, but you feel two times blue in the end. And that's causing your constant thoughts about your ex.
Why Am I Still In Love With My Ex?
The reason behind your obsession may be way simpler than you initially thought. We've mentioned above that sometimes love dies, while affection and respect to your partner remain. There are other cases, however. While your relationship may seem to be a torture for you, it doesn't mean that you stopped loving your ex girlfriend. But there are other reasons. So, let's try to find the answer to the question "Why do I still love my ex?"
1. It Was Your First True Love
Nothing hurts you more than losing your first true love. People get obsessed with their ex-partners. They suffer from severe depression. So, there is nothing special about you feeling obsessed and being unable to love again. It happens when you are losing your first true love. So, if your ex-girlfriend was your first true love, there is nothing strange that you can't stop loving her. Most likely it would change with time, but you need just to wait until those feelings go away.
2. You Are In Love With Loving Your Ex
Once again, you shouldn't ditch selfishness in cases of being obsessed with your ex-partner. While you may think that you can't stop loving your ex-girlfriend, you can actually be in love with loving your ex-partner. You remember how good it felt when you were together and that's what you are actually missing. If you have enough courage to admit it, you would be able to get rid of your obsession, move on from your ex-partner, and start a new healthy relationship with someone else.
3. You Haven't Found Anyone Else To Love
You don't want to be lonely and everyone is telling you that you should start dating somebody new in order to get over your ex-girlfriend. It's quite understandable, as nobody wants to stay in that miserable and lonely post-breakup state. But it's not that easy as it sounds. After a breakup, you are quite needy and picky and you get the feeling that getting back together with your ex-girlfriend whom you know and who knows you well seems to be a good option. And thus you can't stop loving your ex or, at least, tricking yourself into believing in that.