Most people nowadays believe that, no matter how much two partners are in love with each other, the long distance romantic relationship between them is basically doomed to fail. Moreover, your family might even discourage such relationship, with some of your best friends advising you not to take this “romantic adventure” too seriously, in case you eventually get your heart broken when the whole thing falls apart.
In any case, most long distance relationship stories do not claim it is going to be just great and easy — the distance between two loving people can make ordinary things simply unachievable. There’s a chance that things could go sideways, and you could end up feeling upset and lonely sometimes. However, the extra distance that separates you two can also make the simplest things sweeter, make both of you appreciate every single moment you can hold each other’s hand, eat together at the same table, feel each other’s touches, take a walk together, smell each other’s hair and so on. These really small needs could suddenly begin to mean so much more when two partners are in a long distance romantic relationship. And, before moving on to long distance relationship advice and useful tips, let’s first define the common issues that might pop up in your partnership so that you can learn how to deal with a long distance relationship and keep your girl happy.
Do long distance relationships work?
As a matter of fact, when our minds are repeatedly exposed to particular people and environments, they ultimately become habituated, and we comfortably get used to those people and things as they are a part of our daily life. However, when in a long distance relationship, sides cannot become habituated to one another quickly enough, so the entire relationship might appear as something just like a considerably suspended “honeymoon phase.” And, indeed, whether it is a totally good or bad thing depends fully on the couple.
Up to this day, many studies have researched the possible ways how to be happy in a long distance relationship, with some believing that stage of life is literally the key factor in this matter. Those romantic partners, who met in college and then had to live apart in order to keep pursuing different career opportunities, would handle their relationship in a different manner than those people who began dating long distance.
However, the latest research carried out by London-based company Chillisauce also suggests that modern generation of both men and women tend to have quite a keen understanding of the true importance of maintaining a healthy romance, despite the influence of technologies and many other obstacles that could stand in their way of love. This statement should be offering hope for all the cynics out there still remaining skeptical about the real concept of love along with traditional romantic values.
Speaking of the main obstacles that could alter your course of love, probably the biggest one is distance itself, as it can be extremely hard for the partners to normally enjoy their relations when they are separated by many miles. At the same time, nobody says it is absolutely impossible to maintain and encourage a long-distance relationship. So, to make long distance relationships work all couples should retain a totally open mind and keep the needed information in mind.
Advantages and disadvantages of long-distance relationships
Despite all misconceptions and prejudice towards such relationships, they have a lot of positive aspects about them. Here are just some of such pros:
- You can really miss the partner as the everyday grind will not make you fed up with seeing the same person every minute of your life
- Do not think that people in such couples can not communicate with each other. Thanks to modern technology, the Internet and Skype, you can talk to and see your beloved one whenever and wherever you want.
- You do not have to worry about the way you look. Texting through the Internet excludes the risk of looking unattractive or not being ready to meet your lover.
Evert real-life meeting turns into a sincere celebration for the both of you. But, despite all these advantages of long-distance relationships, they have, of course, some cons. Here are some of the next main disadvantages of such a relationship:
- The inability to see a person in live, hug your partner, touch and kiss her/him when you feel sad and lonely.
- You have to endure a long separation.
- Loss of trust and arising of jealousy.
- In order to meet you have to follow each other's plans so this happens rarely.
Limits in long-distance relationships
Love at a distance is limited to communication through telephone calls and the Internet. Because of this quarrels or misunderstandings appear, as emotions that you can transmit with facial expressions cannot be passed through to the interlocutor through the phone talk or even voice messages. It is difficult for us to catch changes in the mood of our loved ones, to notice how do they react to this or that news.
But you can not require your partner to be constantly online or call you every half an hour, so always discuss the borders of your personal space, schedule your phone calls and talks, be open about how the words of your interlocutor make you feel, if it seems to you that you have misunderstood something, immediately ask about it, because the intonation and the personal experience and life background of a person all mean equally as much as the message he/she had sent you itself.
Common long distance relationship problems
Everybody knows that any long distance relationship requires truly hard work and a lot of effort from both parties involved, but what does it mean, exactly? Beyond doubt, a distanced relationship is always quite tricky to navigate through. Mostly because there are certain difficulties that actually don’t plague same-city type of relationships to the similar extent.
1. Getting stuck in a routine
This point is probably one of the most widely spread issues to appear in long distance relationships. All those kind of “dry periods” are pretty normal in any long distance romantic partnership, however that does not make those periods any less frustrating and depressing.
2. Neglecting other no less important relations
Have you ever thought that you might be spending nearly all your spare time chatting with your partner on the phone or computer? If you keep focusing all your free time on your faraway love, your other relationships with the closest ones to you will also be suffering. So, in a nutshell: this is pretty bad news.
3. Growing apart
When your loved one moves too far away from you, certain aspects of your regular relationship could pause or slow down, still the normal life continues. You should not stop learning and changing yourself just because your significant other is not there with you every day. Both of you are accumulating a truly unique experience. However, since you don’t get to see your partner every day, it could be harder to identify the exact ways in which your lover is changing, and track them while you’re not together.
Feeling even a bit jealous again and again is not that much unusual in long distance relationships, especially when you are many miles away from your beloved partner. A little portion of jealousy can even spark absolutely fresh attraction and appreciation for your significant other. Nevertheless, while even one candle can illuminate the whole room, the slightest blaze can easily burn the house to the ground.
So, there it goes: Several studies have found out that cheating does not actually occur any more often in remote romantic relationships. But, that doesn’t mean cheating is uncommon in such relationships. Lying and cheating can happen in any kind of relationship, and distant ones make deceit much easier to hide and for longer too.
6. Getting too lazy to communicate well
Romantic partners in distanced relationships usually claim that distance separating them actually helped them learn the basics of communicating well, and at much deeper level. However, the opposite might also occur. Distance enables poor communication habits to be developed.
Why it is so important to be open in long-distance relationships
Doubt, fear, and distrust are usually the main enemies of long-distance relationships.
Many of us are used to the fact that our second half is always near. Therefore, when partners separate because of the work conditions or other circumstances, it is hard to stay confident in yourself and your partner. And that is why you need to be open, call your beloved, simply tell them how did your day go and what were you doing so they do not feel as lonely and understand that you are still a legitimate couple just going through some hardships.
And if you have started your relationships online and have never met in real life before, it is extremely vital to be real you and not try to embellish your mistakes and insecurities. You can not be a long-distance couple before, sooner or later you will meet and then all lies will be revealed.
How to handle a long distance relationship
1. Avoid excess communication
It is pretty unwise of you to be acting overly “sticky” and possessive. Just realize that you two don’t really need to hang on the phone all around the clock to keep the spark between you alive. Most couples believe that they should compensate for all the distance by talking more. Well, that is not true. Even more, it could only make the whole relationship worse simply because pretty soon you will get bored with such “loving.” Bear in mind: Less can be more. Most essential thing to be learned is to keep teasing and tugging each other at the right moments.
2. Come up with a set of ground rules to manage your relationship
Both partners need to be totally clear with what they expect of one another during their long distance relationship. To make it work, be sure to set some basic rules so that none of you two will do stuff that could possibly take the other partner by surprise. For example, what long distance relationship gifts would you like to receive? Do you consider your couple exclusive? What is your commitment level? It will be so much better to remain absolutely open with your significant other about all the things.
3. Communicate regularly…and creatively too!
On top of all, try to update your significant other on everything happening in your life and remember some mundane things. Be sure to exchange pictures, songs and short home videos from time to time. There’s no doubt, by putting in such effort, you will make your precious girl feel loved and cared for.
4. Don’t underestimate the power of dirty talks
Sexual tension is certainly one of the most vital things keeping couples together. Sexual desire may be compared to glue keeping both sides from drifting apart. That’s exactly why you need to keep the flames of passion burning by sending one another teasing messages filled with sexual fantasies and provocative descriptions. Believe it, sexy puns do their job pretty well!
5. Do stuff together
Leave room for some long distance relationship activities. For instance, go play an online game with your significant other. Stream and watch a fine documentary movie at the same time. Sing together on a Skype video chat. Finally, go online-shopping as a couple — and buy each other some little gifts. You two really have to be enough creative and spontaneous about it!
6. Visit one another if possible
Visits are one of the major highlights of any long distance romantic relationship. You may agree that after all the patient waiting and yearning, it is really sweet to finally meet each other and fulfill all those things you promised. Plus, our long distance relationship tips recommend you visiting one another as often as possible to keep your relationship absolutely healthy and happy.
Stereotypes about long-distance relationships
You have probably heard the stereotype that only those who cannot cope with “real” relations enter long-distance relationships. Indeed, why blame those who decide to seek their happiness outside their city? What is the point of limiting yourself?
It’s impossible to get to know each other well at a distance is another widely popular misconception. Oddly enough, if you do not live together, you have a lot more topics to talk about. You are surrounded by different people, you visit different places and even live in different countries or cultures. It means the opportunity to learn as many details as possible about the life of your beloved and avoid the ordinary routine of just living together in the same environment.
Another misbelief claims that in such relationship there is no sex. After all, remember how amazing modern technologies are. And even if teleports have not yet been invented, it’s not so difficult to feel the intimacy of the close communication and mutual flirting being at the other end of the globe. Long-distant couples must exhibit a certain ingenuity to maintain passion in their relationship. They learn to flirt with sophistication and master the art of virtual foreplay.
Signs your long-distance relationships will have success
The experts in the field of relations say that not everyone is ready to support relations over long distances.
- For example, people with low self-esteem are more closely tied to their partners, so they need constant confirmation of feelings, which makes a long separation impossible.
- Insecurity can be a source of jealousy and distrust, which causes a lot of suffering and arguing
- On the other hand, emotionally mature people with good psychological health can establish a relationship with their partner, which will primarily be based on trust and shared values
- If you are ok with flirting and communicating through the Internet or phone calls, you have scheduled time for this or you are constantly texting each other you will have a great connection even if distance and borders separate you
- If you love the whole heart and are in harmony with your mind, no distances can affect trust in relationships.
- Provided that your partner is your old friend or a person you had known before you separated and you didn't meet online, you have a more reliable base for such a relationship.
How to keep a girlfriend happy in a long distance relationship?
1. Make sure you see your girl in person as often as possible
Regular visits can surely make a huge difference in the overall satisfaction of your distanced relationship, giving your beloved girlfriend something truly special to look forward to and keeping her satisfied with your relations in general.
2. Take advantage of modern technologies to stay in touch
For example, if you do own a web cam, you can go for video chats and see each other's emotions more frequently. With the whole bunch of contemporary options for keeping in touch, you can remain in a steady contact between visits. Being informed of your lover’s life will greatly help you avoid growing apart.
3. Send letters via the postal service
In the modern world, fewer people mail conventional paper letters due to the ease of messengers and electronic mail, that’s why a romantic exchange through the postal service would be pretty much unexpected for your partner. Be sure to send your loved one a nice personal letter written on fine paper and scented with her favorite cologne to add for a truly memorable gesture!
4. Schedule regular phone calls
Of course, our list of tips for long distance relationships would not be complete without mentioning the importance of phone calls. Just hearing your beloved partner’s voice can help you feel much more connected. Furthermore, it will allow you to hear each other’s voice and is just perfect for discussing some important matters and expressing your feelings.
5. Remember each important date, including birthday, various anniversaries, and, of course, St. Valentine’s Day
Add the most important dates to a planner on your cellphone and set reminders in advance. If you successfully manage to celebrate special occasions together, it will definitely create tons of happy memories and reassure your girl that you share each other’s lives despite the distance between you.
6. Gifts for long distance relationship
Send your girlfriend small gifts as regularly as you do so in your usual relationship. These days lots of online shopping websites offer free delivery options, so the distance between the two of you should not be affecting the frequency of present-giving. Try to choose thoughtful items that will show you are hugely committed to maintaining your girl’s happiness.
Long distance relationship gifts
If you want to surprise your lover when you finally meet in real life or send him/her a parcel via postal services or mutual friends, here is a couple of great ideas for such a gift:
- A ticket to your city. Imagine your partner receiving an already paid airplane or train ticket he can use to travel just to you, it would be a great surprise
- A ticket for a concert, festival or another event you can both meet on
- Something sweet or tasty made by yourself
- A bracelet or a ring with something special engraved on it, like the date of the start of your relationship or your names
Signs your girlfriend is happy in long-distance relationships
A happy woman is contented with her appearance. Even if her figure is not perfect, and she knows her minor flaws, she will still behave like a queen and feel confident about herself. However, if she is not pleased with the way you look and your relationships, she can suspect you do not move together because she doesn’t satisfy you as a woman.
Lack of jealousy. A happy woman will never suspect her man of cheating, she trusts him if he treats her well and does not give reasons for jealousy.
The lucky one will not take other people’s thoughts into consideration. She doesn’t care what others think of her or her relationship, even if not everyone, including her friends or relatives, understands her choice and recognizes long-distance relationships.