The end of autumn is quite a difficult period for many people. The days are growing distinctly shorter, gray sky and steady rain bring unbearable melancholy, and the feeling of loneliness seems insurmountable. Our mood – like a mirror image of cloudy weather – fades too, and many people feel needless and dumped in this time of year. Therefore, it is in the cold seasons that lonely people have an overwhelming desire to find a partner for long-term relationships. This period is called the cuffing season. Now, we are going to tell you what's cuffing season and how to pass through this difficult period.
What Is Cuffing Season?
How to define the cuffing season? Cuffing season is the autumn-winter period when singles think about serious relationships more often than usual. It is believed that lonely people are more inclined to seek long-term relationships in the fall and winter. The meaning of cuffing season is as follows: those people, who during the warm months prefer leading single or polygamous lifestyle, get into monogamy during the autumn-winter season. That is, they find a partner with whom they can spend the cold season. However, when the cold ends and the need to spend most of the time at home disappears, a lot of seasonal couples break up.
Why do we feel more lonesome when the cold season comes? Like most phenomena of our life, the cuffing season has a scientific explanation. “The issue is about our DNA, which has been forming for hundreds of thousands of years,” explains Wendy Wels, a clinical psychologist. “In conditions of limited resources and harsh climate, ancient people had more chances to survive when they were united in groups and couples. Therefore, the cuffing season begins every time the weather gets worse and it gets dark outside the window.”
Scientists agree that the main reason for the feeling of loneliness in the autumn-winter period is a short light day. Lack of sunlight adversely affects the work of the hypothalamus (the brain region responsible for mood, sleep, appetite, and sexual desire), upsets the balance of melatonin in the body, and suppresses the production of serotonin ("happiness hormone"). The feeling of loneliness begins to overcome single people in the autumn and resolves on its own with the coming of spring. Unpleasant feelings of uselessness and aloofness affect people to different extents. Some experience all the “charms” of the cuffing season in full force and effect, while others have only a few mild symptoms.
When does cuffing season start? There is no universal and accurate date when the cuffing season begins and ends. It all depends on the weather conditions and personal qualities of each person. Although, there is an approximate cuffing season schedule:
- October – November: pre-season;
- November – January: height of the cuffing season;
- February – March: end of the season.
Cuffing Season Rules
The cold season has a significant impact on the relationship between a man and a woman. Those who have already had a couple in the cuffing season, feel all the advantages of monogamy. They can sit for hours at home and watch TV shows, order food, take a hot shower together, drink mulled wine, and have sex... In general, they indulge in a winter idyll, feeling like fairy-tale characters. But what about those who do not have a couple? There are 12 simple cuffing season rules that will help you pass through this difficult time of year.
1. Spend more time outdoors
If you feel sadness, uselessness, and loneliness, you should not stay at home. Instead of that, you should start spending time in the open air as often as possible. Be energetic, and you simply will not have time to worry about loneliness and the absence of a loved one.
Sunlight and oxygen affect the level of serotonin – a hormone responsible for human mood. The higher its level in your body is, the happier and more satisfied you feel. Daily walks will help you stabilize the production of the hormone of happiness, and over time, you will no longer feel lonely. In addition, you will become more energetic: strolls can raise your spirits and give the opportunity to get acquainted with new people.
2. Arrange a photo session in nature
Is it possible to come up with better landscapes for a beautiful photo shoot than soft sun and purple leaves? Create cozy images with fluffy scarves and soft sweaters and boldly call the photographer. You will have a great time and get a lot of wonderful photos that will prove to you that autumn and winter are not boring at all. Moreover, if you arrange a photo session with your friends, you will not feel so lonely anymore!
3. Get creative
For some reason, creative abilities wake up exactly in the cold season. Apparently, the calmness of this period reveals our hidden talents. You cannot even imagine how much you can do in this beautiful season! Decorate the house, attend a master class, take photos of nature, or find a new interesting hobby. You will even be sorry that this time of year is so short!
4. Take part in a group activity
The cold season usually drives all people under the roof, so we can safely say that autumn unites people. Pair dances, yoga classes, and various seminars – all this will not only cheer you up but also give a lot of new and interesting acquaintances. Thus, you will have the opportunity to meet true love.
5. Spend time with family and friends
When you face a sense of mental exhaustion and emotional burnout, it seems to you that the best idea is to be alone with your thoughts and solve all the problems without any help but believe us: you should think carefully before doing it. Sometimes it is impossible to cope with feelings of loneliness, overstrain, and depression without talking to people whom you trust. In such a situation, it is always important to share your problem. Take time to call or meet with your family and friends. The support of loved ones will help you overcome difficulties. This is one of the best cuffing season rules.
6. Get a pet
Four-legged friends help people cope with loneliness and depression. They give us their love, reducing stress and tension. Of course, you will not be able to have a heart to heart talk (although these wonderful creatures will certainly listen to your monologue), but there are no better companions than pets.
In addition, getting a dog, you will spend time in the open air, and besides, you will be able to establish contact with other pet owners. After all, the presence of pets is an excellent occasion to start a conversation and make new friends with similar interests.
7. Do not overtire yourself
Work is one of the main reasons why you may experience a feeling of total uselessness and loneliness. This statement is especially true if the authority does not appreciate you, and you have to constantly overwork, and linger after others have left the work.
There is a direct connection between exhaustion from work and a feeling of loneliness: the more you get tired, the more unnecessary you feel. Constant stress and feeling of exhaustion lead to physical discomfort. Moreover, it becomes difficult for you to quickly switch between tasks, communicate with others, and maintain trusting relationships with people around. If this is your case, then remember: you should not work yourself into complete impotence. Consider options for taking another job, after which you will have time and energy to meet with friends, attend cultural events or sports training. Only in such a way, you can live a full-fledged life, do something for the soul, and get rid of loneliness and a sense of uselessness.
8. Give up alcohol
You must understand that alcohol and isolation are the worst helpers in the fight against a sense of uselessness. Being alone with yourself, you can aggravate the situation, blame yourself for inaction, and find new hopeless situations. At the same time, it will be more difficult for you to communicate with people. Therefore, instead of drinking, take a good book and go to the nearest park or a cafe – so you will spend time with greater benefit and improve your spiritual welfare.
9. Eat healthy food
In winter, when the body wants more flour-based and sweet food (to lift the spirits), it is very important to eat healthy food. There are five foods that contribute to raising the mood and can remove the desire to eat a lot of high-calorie food: turkey, avocado, eggs, cilantro, and bananas. Include these products in your daily diet, and after a couple of weeks, you will see significant improvements.
10. Enjoy simple things
It can be everything you want: favorite food, a book, a television show, or chat with a friend. Go for a walk or just sit in the open air near the house. Experiment! Find things that brighten up your leisure time and make you feel better. Do not deny yourself little pleasures.
11. Remind yourself that this is temporary
The poet Rainer Maria Rilke wrote, "No feeling is final." Repeat this phrase more often. Tomorrow, it will be a new day, and you will feel differently. Perhaps everything will change radically. Sometimes it seems that loneliness is forever. But it is not so.
12. Do not rush to start a romantic relationship
Cuffing season is not the best time to create a long-lasting romantic relationship as most people want to find only temporary love. But if you still want to find a loved one, first of all, you should decide whether this is a real and sincere desire or just an attempt to find someone not to feel lonely during the cold season.
Moreover, if you want eternal love, then you should know the signs that your partner needs you only for the cuffing season. There are some clear warning signals:
Your new partner is over-active
They flirt, try to charm you and frankly impose themselves. All this may indicate that you are damn attractive. But if you have not previously noticed increased attention from the opposite sex, then you should grow suspicious. Why? Just think about it: if you really like someone, you will be afraid to look silly and ridiculous in their eyes. If you are not interested in a person, then you can do whatever you can think of. However, not only men but also women can choose such behavior pattern to find a temporary partner for the cuffing season.
Dates only on their territory
On the one hand, it indicates a certain degree of trust: a person is not afraid to admit you into their house. On the other hand, it may indicate a lack of genuine interest in your personality. Since the new acquaintance does not show much interest in your life and does not take into account your desire to meet somewhere else. So, be careful!
They do not introduce you to their friends
If a person has some plans for a joint future, they try to get acquainted with the relatives and friends of a loved one. If the partner tries to avoid your company and does not introduce you to their friends, it means that their plans for your relationship are either doubtful or simply short-term.
They avoid talking about the future
You are trying to make plans for spring or summer, but such statements do not arouse any interest or enthusiasm in the partner. They look at you with a glassy stare and respond with silence. Well, it seems that in such a “distant” future as the upcoming spring, there is no place for you in the life of the new acquaintance.